I have been determined for some time now, around about 4 weeks as it goes, to make a conscious effort to do better in my studying this year. To actually achieve that 2:1 or first that i know i could probably do if my brain wasn't slightly impaired by laziness. So far, i have used spell check twice on that paragraph only emphasizing my ineptitude at spelling....and i used to be quite good before 'student-syndrome' set in.
Anyway, i must say that i have failed in my quest to be a good student and make myself proud. The early starts at eleven in the morning require much preparation, and don't even bothering mentioning about the nine o' clock starts. Thats laughable. The preparation resembles nothing less than S.A.S precision which includes setting the alarm and actually calculating the time needed to keep allowing me to hit the alarm button to snooze and making sure i'm still not late. Then there's the realization that if i don't get up now, i will indeed be letting not just myself and future career/life/existence down, but my parents, grandparents, and possible guinea pigs, because every other 'adult' has been up well before the appointed early time of ten o' clock.
Next comes the immediate scramble to the end of the bed to stand for ten minutes staring at the heap of clothes strewn across the floor, all the while scratching your head and not understanding what your doing up or how you got there in the first place. Just before the quick dash to the front door to catch the bus (your way too tired to walk to uni and would hate to be too exhausted to concentrate for your lecture,) you manage to throw clothes at yourself and look like a slightly nicer smelling hobo.
Ipod blaring leads to the inevitable odd stares on the bus from the old folks who look at you in disgust. Apparantly in the war no one was a lazy bleeder and a quick mad dash in the appropriate footwear (flipflops) for the onslaught of rain thats decided to attack you, minus the umbrella.
You make it just in time to the lecture to be fifteen minutes late because you nearly broke your fucking neck on the way up, got stuck behind some stupid old person and then you wanted a fag anyway.
Catch up on sleep in the lecture because at the end of the day, who needs facts about business skills, and then its off to lunch.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Sunday, 30 September 2007
Our Time Has Come.
For all the constant winging and moaning that i myself have endured and projected unto others, this summer has really taught me a lot. Not an epiphany as such just a sudden cloud has decided to move on, which i am more than appreciative of.
Firstly i have met some amazing new like-minded people. The ones that are just not interested in mindless backstabbing and antagonizing.
But the thing that really has opened my eyes is my course in Human Rights. Im not interested in making political statements on Trafalger Square in an attempt to get our deaf government to turn up their hearing aid. Im more interested in Genocide and the concept behind it. I opted to study the Holocaust in my first semester of my second year and already a week in im loving it.
As a result and trying to portray myself as an avid student, i visited the Imperial War Museum yesterday to visit the Holocaust exhibition. It was increadible. So tactile and informative. Everywhere you looked there was cases to view, videos to watch and models to look at. It was heart-wrenching and i defy anyone to come out of their without feeling a little sad but more educated.
The cases full of shoes collected from Auschwitz camp of the prisoners is scary and the video showing real mentally ill people/skeletons being loaded into a gas chamber is disgusting. But in a good way. It means you cant dissasociate yourself from such a terrible atrocity that happened.
People today think its ok to not know the facts. The facts like, Hitler wasnt the true mastermind ego maniac behind it all. It was actually those below him like Himmler who oversaw everything. He was the real homicidal maniac. Or Eichmann, the guy who implemented and constructed the Final Solution. Mengele (The Angel of Auschwitz) who experimented on everyone in the camps in the hope of constructing a true Aryan race and weeding out genetic faults.
Someone who lived through it once said that to even write and read about the Holocaust is a crime itself as it defiles the true nature of what happened. That is becomes a freak show and something to be gauped at. In respect, i say bollocks to that.
I think it is our duty as humans to learn and understand it. To read every side of the atrocity, from Mein Kamph to the Nazi Hunter, to books on the SS and first hand accounts from liberated camp suvivors.
I am infuriated by the idea that the government wants to take the manditory study of the Holocaust off the school education system and i find it a disgusting concept. Dont stick kids infront of Schindlers list for 2 hours. Sit them down and show kids of about 12-13 upwards what we as humans are fucking capable of. Make them realise that it is not an acceptable thing to do and just because it happened 60 odd years ago, does not mean we can distance ourselevs from it and claim that we no longer have to think about it. Thats a quick path to it happening again on a bigger scale!!!!
If you see this exhibition, you will be thinking of it for days and you will soon put everything in your life thats easy to be caught up in, into perspective.
REALITY IS OUR PERCEPTION.
Firstly i have met some amazing new like-minded people. The ones that are just not interested in mindless backstabbing and antagonizing.
But the thing that really has opened my eyes is my course in Human Rights. Im not interested in making political statements on Trafalger Square in an attempt to get our deaf government to turn up their hearing aid. Im more interested in Genocide and the concept behind it. I opted to study the Holocaust in my first semester of my second year and already a week in im loving it.
As a result and trying to portray myself as an avid student, i visited the Imperial War Museum yesterday to visit the Holocaust exhibition. It was increadible. So tactile and informative. Everywhere you looked there was cases to view, videos to watch and models to look at. It was heart-wrenching and i defy anyone to come out of their without feeling a little sad but more educated.
The cases full of shoes collected from Auschwitz camp of the prisoners is scary and the video showing real mentally ill people/skeletons being loaded into a gas chamber is disgusting. But in a good way. It means you cant dissasociate yourself from such a terrible atrocity that happened.
People today think its ok to not know the facts. The facts like, Hitler wasnt the true mastermind ego maniac behind it all. It was actually those below him like Himmler who oversaw everything. He was the real homicidal maniac. Or Eichmann, the guy who implemented and constructed the Final Solution. Mengele (The Angel of Auschwitz) who experimented on everyone in the camps in the hope of constructing a true Aryan race and weeding out genetic faults.
Someone who lived through it once said that to even write and read about the Holocaust is a crime itself as it defiles the true nature of what happened. That is becomes a freak show and something to be gauped at. In respect, i say bollocks to that.
I think it is our duty as humans to learn and understand it. To read every side of the atrocity, from Mein Kamph to the Nazi Hunter, to books on the SS and first hand accounts from liberated camp suvivors.
I am infuriated by the idea that the government wants to take the manditory study of the Holocaust off the school education system and i find it a disgusting concept. Dont stick kids infront of Schindlers list for 2 hours. Sit them down and show kids of about 12-13 upwards what we as humans are fucking capable of. Make them realise that it is not an acceptable thing to do and just because it happened 60 odd years ago, does not mean we can distance ourselevs from it and claim that we no longer have to think about it. Thats a quick path to it happening again on a bigger scale!!!!
If you see this exhibition, you will be thinking of it for days and you will soon put everything in your life thats easy to be caught up in, into perspective.
REALITY IS OUR PERCEPTION.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Prisoner Zero 8.
I am writing this blog for my Nephew Oliver a day after he was born.
He was born into a world of undecided torment. A world where state powers are corrupt and citizens turn a blind eye. Where humans as masses are selfish and moronic and where individuals voices are quiet. We are at the top of the food chain and technologically advanced, but still intent on destroying our world. We take and dont replenish. War has become sterile and we kill millions at the touch of a button. We are disasociating ourselves and send brave people to fufill the wishes of greedy politicians. We are consumer driven and manipulated by the Media. We support mindless idiots and find their un-educated thoughts endearing, and encourage our children to admire them. But not because of their brains and contribution to society, purely for their money, glamour and good looks. We are dominated by brain dead programmes on the tv and will happily sit through repeats of 20 year old sitcoms because we dont have to think. Our societies across the glove are angry at everything and everyone and we are lied to constantly. We are too sensitive and we deal with this by labelling it policical correctness. What in fact that is doing is merely sensoring what we can and cant say to allegedly create a 'peaceful atmosphere.' This is great in theory, but it has been taken to the extreme. Our justice system allows rapists and murderers to be set free within a year, drink drivers to only be cautioned and someone who beats an old lady up for a fiver may only get community service. People dont read anymore, preferring to wait for the film to come out and only Hollywood blockbusters are given financial backing, which often involves bad acting and no plot. We have starving people and millions are murdered in horrendous ways and we do nothing. Preferring to turn a blind eye as its not happening on our doorstep. But when we do make a stand, no one with any power listens to us, even in a democracy like ours. Those that want to travel are made to feel guilty because the latest fad is carbon foot prints. But we are told this by the same people (our prime minister) who will fly from London to Manchester instead of taking the train. We are told to support fair trade and use organic products because they are better for you but the prices are so high, and every day we are bombarded with reports of the latest cancer or contagin that is used as a scaremongering tactic. We do atrocious things to each other and then sweep it under the carpet and forget. Those that want to be educated more than the state forces you to be are pressured because it is so expensive. We have people living off the state systems who choose to so they dont have to work because they are lazy, but people like my mum who have worked 25 years for the same company and then was made redundant, cant get a job and cant afford a thing.
We as individuals are selfish egomaniacs who always think our lives are worse than others and all the while we are being terrified into believing that there is an unknown threat lurking outside waiting to kill us.
Your birth date was made sad 6 years ago because extremists decided to attack the west and kill over 3,000 innocent people and yet their government flew the highjackers families out of the country hours afterwards instead of holding them.
But the good out weighs the bad. It may not be enough to fill the same amount of lines, but the quality is better.
We care and we stand up sometimes for whats right, which in turn gives a shimmer of faith that we are good. We have the ability to stand on two legs, read and write and design amazing things. I can see photos of you from only a few hours old over the internet. Mobile phones are so small and you can watch television with them. I can keep in contact with people i have not seen for years through email which is instant, instead of letters. We draw and write beautiful things and are accessable to anyone. We can travel freely to anywhere in the world and everything is now cheap. We can have our say without being persacuted and i can talk to whoever i want. I can choose to have a good job and rival the men or i can stay at home and raise a family. I can see my favourite band and i can drink with my friends. I can read the books i want without it being censored (to the best of my knowledge anyway) and not be judged. I can take control of my sexuality and be my own person. I can buy amazing clothes and have colour and variety in ways people never had before. I can change my opinions and career with not much difficulty.
The world you are born into is awful at times, but it is far greater. I know that your parents have wanted you for a long time and now you are finally here. I have only seen photos of you and probably wont get to hold you for a long time, but i am proud to be an auntie and i will be the coolest one there is!
x
He was born into a world of undecided torment. A world where state powers are corrupt and citizens turn a blind eye. Where humans as masses are selfish and moronic and where individuals voices are quiet. We are at the top of the food chain and technologically advanced, but still intent on destroying our world. We take and dont replenish. War has become sterile and we kill millions at the touch of a button. We are disasociating ourselves and send brave people to fufill the wishes of greedy politicians. We are consumer driven and manipulated by the Media. We support mindless idiots and find their un-educated thoughts endearing, and encourage our children to admire them. But not because of their brains and contribution to society, purely for their money, glamour and good looks. We are dominated by brain dead programmes on the tv and will happily sit through repeats of 20 year old sitcoms because we dont have to think. Our societies across the glove are angry at everything and everyone and we are lied to constantly. We are too sensitive and we deal with this by labelling it policical correctness. What in fact that is doing is merely sensoring what we can and cant say to allegedly create a 'peaceful atmosphere.' This is great in theory, but it has been taken to the extreme. Our justice system allows rapists and murderers to be set free within a year, drink drivers to only be cautioned and someone who beats an old lady up for a fiver may only get community service. People dont read anymore, preferring to wait for the film to come out and only Hollywood blockbusters are given financial backing, which often involves bad acting and no plot. We have starving people and millions are murdered in horrendous ways and we do nothing. Preferring to turn a blind eye as its not happening on our doorstep. But when we do make a stand, no one with any power listens to us, even in a democracy like ours. Those that want to travel are made to feel guilty because the latest fad is carbon foot prints. But we are told this by the same people (our prime minister) who will fly from London to Manchester instead of taking the train. We are told to support fair trade and use organic products because they are better for you but the prices are so high, and every day we are bombarded with reports of the latest cancer or contagin that is used as a scaremongering tactic. We do atrocious things to each other and then sweep it under the carpet and forget. Those that want to be educated more than the state forces you to be are pressured because it is so expensive. We have people living off the state systems who choose to so they dont have to work because they are lazy, but people like my mum who have worked 25 years for the same company and then was made redundant, cant get a job and cant afford a thing.
We as individuals are selfish egomaniacs who always think our lives are worse than others and all the while we are being terrified into believing that there is an unknown threat lurking outside waiting to kill us.
Your birth date was made sad 6 years ago because extremists decided to attack the west and kill over 3,000 innocent people and yet their government flew the highjackers families out of the country hours afterwards instead of holding them.
But the good out weighs the bad. It may not be enough to fill the same amount of lines, but the quality is better.
We care and we stand up sometimes for whats right, which in turn gives a shimmer of faith that we are good. We have the ability to stand on two legs, read and write and design amazing things. I can see photos of you from only a few hours old over the internet. Mobile phones are so small and you can watch television with them. I can keep in contact with people i have not seen for years through email which is instant, instead of letters. We draw and write beautiful things and are accessable to anyone. We can travel freely to anywhere in the world and everything is now cheap. We can have our say without being persacuted and i can talk to whoever i want. I can choose to have a good job and rival the men or i can stay at home and raise a family. I can see my favourite band and i can drink with my friends. I can read the books i want without it being censored (to the best of my knowledge anyway) and not be judged. I can take control of my sexuality and be my own person. I can buy amazing clothes and have colour and variety in ways people never had before. I can change my opinions and career with not much difficulty.
The world you are born into is awful at times, but it is far greater. I know that your parents have wanted you for a long time and now you are finally here. I have only seen photos of you and probably wont get to hold you for a long time, but i am proud to be an auntie and i will be the coolest one there is!
x
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Lights of Amber.
He's here. He's finally arrived and i know no one reads these, but i dont care. Im an auntie!
Its finally happend.
I never thought id be excited, but 8 pound something Oliver James Elliott has arrived.
Im too excited to sleep now and all i want to do is see him. Damn my brother for living so far away!
Today is a good day!!!!!!!!
zzz.....x
Its finally happend.
I never thought id be excited, but 8 pound something Oliver James Elliott has arrived.
Im too excited to sleep now and all i want to do is see him. Damn my brother for living so far away!
Today is a good day!!!!!!!!
zzz.....x
Lights Out.
So i'm sitting here in my pyjamas when i should be getting ready to meet my friend. Damn internet, enticing me in and sucking out my soul. As I hit refresh multiple times on the facebook with boredom and listening to Daft Punk, the only thing drifting in my mind is....FRIDAY NIGHT BABY!!!
Thats right, after four months of living in what I enjoy calling 'The Black Hole of Kent,' I'm leaving to go back to Kingston for Uni. Am I sad? Fuck no. Well, yes I am sad in the respect I wont get to see my new found friends as much, but Ashford really is the armpit of society.
It's a general fact that every kid hates their hometown for one reason or another but Ashford truely is Purgatory. Nothing happens, nothing evolves and I find people are still stuck in their monotonous gloom and continue to moan.
People (and not my friends...of course,) are boring and unsociable. They wander aimlessly through the high street like labotomised chimps with a mentality slightly rivalling a newly formed zombie. Buggies everywhere pushed by twelve year old girls, ugly (and i do mean ugly) blokes pissed up wanting a fight. But the main thing I have found is that no one cares, about anything!
After two years at Uni I thought I would have progressed past social bitchiness and neurotic behaviour but I find myself getting sucked back in. The pub is still the same. The pub I do love for bad or worse (yes we are married, last year in fact. Small affair.) I have been in love with that place for about 6 years and I would say it's getting serious. The only difference is that the customers are resembling nothing short of sperm and eggs. God I feel old even if I do myself only look 17.
Time for me to hoist up the main sails and bring the anchor in and set sail back to good ol' London I think before I become a mess again.
BUT....the point being (if I have one,) is that this Friday, I am saying goodbye and leaving for a short while.
I am meeting the girls in Utopia for pre-drinks and to actually have a non-testosterone filled couple of hours with them. There will be drinks and plenty of them. There will be delicious legs and boobs when everyone turns out in their finest silverware and general merriment. i think that will probably the boys though.
Then once we have drunk enough to put a small elephant out for the count, we will be strolling to the regular haunt to sit outside, smoking and drinking more with the boys.
I'm excited to get everyone together for merriment because it is a bit of a rare occasion. But more than anything, I get to spend non hard earned cash on a fucking good time and then I get to leave to do it every day at Uni for the next 3 months.
If my head isnt hurting on Sat then I didnt do it right.
Through all my pissing and moaning, my life is fucking great!
x
Thats right, after four months of living in what I enjoy calling 'The Black Hole of Kent,' I'm leaving to go back to Kingston for Uni. Am I sad? Fuck no. Well, yes I am sad in the respect I wont get to see my new found friends as much, but Ashford really is the armpit of society.
It's a general fact that every kid hates their hometown for one reason or another but Ashford truely is Purgatory. Nothing happens, nothing evolves and I find people are still stuck in their monotonous gloom and continue to moan.
People (and not my friends...of course,) are boring and unsociable. They wander aimlessly through the high street like labotomised chimps with a mentality slightly rivalling a newly formed zombie. Buggies everywhere pushed by twelve year old girls, ugly (and i do mean ugly) blokes pissed up wanting a fight. But the main thing I have found is that no one cares, about anything!
After two years at Uni I thought I would have progressed past social bitchiness and neurotic behaviour but I find myself getting sucked back in. The pub is still the same. The pub I do love for bad or worse (yes we are married, last year in fact. Small affair.) I have been in love with that place for about 6 years and I would say it's getting serious. The only difference is that the customers are resembling nothing short of sperm and eggs. God I feel old even if I do myself only look 17.
Time for me to hoist up the main sails and bring the anchor in and set sail back to good ol' London I think before I become a mess again.
BUT....the point being (if I have one,) is that this Friday, I am saying goodbye and leaving for a short while.
I am meeting the girls in Utopia for pre-drinks and to actually have a non-testosterone filled couple of hours with them. There will be drinks and plenty of them. There will be delicious legs and boobs when everyone turns out in their finest silverware and general merriment. i think that will probably the boys though.
Then once we have drunk enough to put a small elephant out for the count, we will be strolling to the regular haunt to sit outside, smoking and drinking more with the boys.
I'm excited to get everyone together for merriment because it is a bit of a rare occasion. But more than anything, I get to spend non hard earned cash on a fucking good time and then I get to leave to do it every day at Uni for the next 3 months.
If my head isnt hurting on Sat then I didnt do it right.
Through all my pissing and moaning, my life is fucking great!
x
Sunday, 9 September 2007
Ruby slippers.
I am Captain Brody Blackadder and when you read this, my life will be at an end. I have lived too many years for my body to cope with anymore, and i have seen too many things for my mind to want much else.
I will not recall my early years, for no one wants to spend precious time reading about the boring in's and out's of how i went to school and what i had for dinner.
I have sailed many oceans, docked at many ports, had many bar fights over little and everything (whatever i deemed fit.) I have had my fair share of men, and more rum than was probably necessary. I have sworn consistantly through my life and is the language i use more than any other. I have shouted, cried, laughed till i was sick and stood my ground with the best of them.
I have been called whore by those who did know me and made their lives feel complete by judging. I have been called innocent by those that do not know me. I have killed and broken hearts. I have used people, cared for my few friends who wished to die in my company. I have been tattooed and robbed in the night while stumbling back in a stupor and i have stolen from those more fortunate than me. I have punched those that dare insult my intelligence and i have been outwitted by those more educated than me.
I have been in love once. He was my friend and lover and i adored him more than anything in the world. Only two years older than me we were never married but when i looked in his eyes i knew i was enough. He was and still is the only one for me. But as i found out it was not reciprocated. When i was 20 years old he ran off with a port girl who i deemed less worthy than me. She was simple and understated. A proper girl who did as she was expected by family and society. She was accepted by everyone to be a lady and i would never be that. I on the other hand am chaos. I have never had an easy life and would not want it any other way. This is me and the people involved have either ridden the waves or been tossed aside in the swell.
I am no longer the same person physically and before i was feared and admired for my outward ways. My later years have seen me stranded in paradise writing and pondering, occasionally dodging the odd missionary who wishes to hear my sins and thinks that they can forgive me before God's eyes. I say its too late for that. I also have to contend with the odd navel men who wish to find out my real identity but never will.
I have sailed to the ends of the earth with nothing but guesswork and an unsavory crew. We wore the black flag high and proud in the winds and found treasure on islands. X i found really does mark the spot.
I will not recall my early years, for no one wants to spend precious time reading about the boring in's and out's of how i went to school and what i had for dinner.
I have sailed many oceans, docked at many ports, had many bar fights over little and everything (whatever i deemed fit.) I have had my fair share of men, and more rum than was probably necessary. I have sworn consistantly through my life and is the language i use more than any other. I have shouted, cried, laughed till i was sick and stood my ground with the best of them.
I have been called whore by those who did know me and made their lives feel complete by judging. I have been called innocent by those that do not know me. I have killed and broken hearts. I have used people, cared for my few friends who wished to die in my company. I have been tattooed and robbed in the night while stumbling back in a stupor and i have stolen from those more fortunate than me. I have punched those that dare insult my intelligence and i have been outwitted by those more educated than me.
I have been in love once. He was my friend and lover and i adored him more than anything in the world. Only two years older than me we were never married but when i looked in his eyes i knew i was enough. He was and still is the only one for me. But as i found out it was not reciprocated. When i was 20 years old he ran off with a port girl who i deemed less worthy than me. She was simple and understated. A proper girl who did as she was expected by family and society. She was accepted by everyone to be a lady and i would never be that. I on the other hand am chaos. I have never had an easy life and would not want it any other way. This is me and the people involved have either ridden the waves or been tossed aside in the swell.
I am no longer the same person physically and before i was feared and admired for my outward ways. My later years have seen me stranded in paradise writing and pondering, occasionally dodging the odd missionary who wishes to hear my sins and thinks that they can forgive me before God's eyes. I say its too late for that. I also have to contend with the odd navel men who wish to find out my real identity but never will.
I have sailed to the ends of the earth with nothing but guesswork and an unsavory crew. We wore the black flag high and proud in the winds and found treasure on islands. X i found really does mark the spot.
My Own Self.
I cannot get enough of Daft Punk at the moment. Harder,Better,Faster,Stronger is the best song and i am listening to it so much at the moment that my heart missed a beat and i am seeking medical help. Apparantly the condition is rare in small
mammals like myself but has been known to occur when you see the videos from the O2 Wireless festival this year on Youtube.
I am a taste sensation and those that dont appreciate what this blog is saying are just mearly plain crisps.
mammals like myself but has been known to occur when you see the videos from the O2 Wireless festival this year on Youtube.
I am a taste sensation and those that dont appreciate what this blog is saying are just mearly plain crisps.
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